Hey there, my friends!! I hope that this past week has been kind to you and has treated you well. I am a big believer in learning at least one new thing every single day. Lately, I’ve been making it a priority for me to stop whatever I’m doing, figure out, and listen to what my body is trying to tell me. When I’m dealing with a flare, I often stop whatever I’m doing (even if I’m in a conversation with someone), close my eyes, take a deep breath, and notice what areas on my body hurts. I often spend a little bit of time taking some deep breaths and repeating a mantra to myself (usually it’s something like “I am strong”). I thought that I would write this blog post about some of the tips and tricks that I use to cope with my life and whether you have chronic pain or not, I hope that you will walk away after reading this and that you might use one of these same tools too. I have a handful of loved ones in my life who suffer from anxiety and some of these same tools have helped them as well.
One of the things that I remind myself daily as I cope with fibromyalgia that I am not the only person who feels the way that I do. It doesn’t help with everything, but I find it helpful for me to keep a healthy perspective as I deal with it. I can’t believe how kind and supportive the fibromyalgia community that I’ve found on social media is and I can’t be more grateful for that. Something that I have been finding out thanks to my fibromyalgia friends and my loved ones, I’ve also been realizing just how strong my own inner strength is. And that is something that helps me more than anything else, especially when I’m dealing with a flare and having a hard time doing basic tasks.
One of the many challenges with living with fibromyalgia is that how I feel changes day to day, if not sometimes more frequently than that. Because of how one minute I can seem like I’m okay, then the next I need to lay down on my bed, I need to be able to adapt my plans for the day around how I’m feeling. Unfortunately, I find often that I have bitten off more than I can chew and I have to make compromises and change those plans. I feel terrible whenever I’ve bailed on friends and family. Something that I’ve been trying to do this last week is to change my mindset about “bad days”. I saw a picture online while I was researching this blog where it suggested freeing yourself from the mentality of having “good days” and “bad days” because labeling time makes us reminisce about our past and the future burdensome — the present is in the here and now. I like this thought but I would add something to it. As you’ll find out a little bit later in this blog post, I make it a goal to practice yoga every day and the yoga instructor who I follow is Adriene Mishler. She says something in most of her videos that helps me when I’m doing a body scan while I’m following along to her video which is to notice how my body feels and responds. Especially while I’m doing yoga, this helps me to recognize that I’m in pain and that I should move to a new position that is more comfortable. Thinking about how I’m feeling like this really helps me to listen to my body and whatever it is trying to tell me. If you are interested in knowing more about Adriene, I’ll post the links to her social media at the bottom of this post.
Something that I know is easier said than done (at least for myself) is to avoid negative self-talk. Instead of getting really sad and upset that I am physically unable to do everything that I want to do, I do my best to instead tell myself that I can do many of the things, but I need to take breaks and pace myself. Instead of thinking that I don’t have control over my happiness because I am in constant pain, I think about how I am in control of my emotions despite being in pain. Some days I am better at keeping my negative self-talk to a minimum, but this is something that I deal with every day and I do my best to not actually believe as much of this negativity as possible. On the days where the veil is thin and I am struggling to not think about how badly I hurt, I have a tendency to think a lot of thoughts very similar to this. This is one of those moments where I try to use the tools that I’ve learned from Adriene, notice how I’m feeling and respond (but in this situation, I try to think more positive thoughts). Those positive thoughts can be something like the sunlight looks beautiful outside, or the warmth of my cup of tea in the evening feels good as it warms my hands. It’s amazing how much better I feel after I focus on those thoughts instead.
I can’t stress the importance of spending your energy wisely. I have been finding on my journey with fibromyalgia that I am definitely a spoonie. I am referring to a theory called spoon theory. The image pictured above is the best way that I can think of how to explain it. Think of the energy that you have for the day being spoons. Now, each activity that you do costs a spoon and these activities can be as simple as getting out of bed, getting dressed, calling and/or texting your loved ones, etc. However many spoons you start off with, those are the total amount of the spoons that you have for the day. You can add or subtract spoons depending on how much energy you feel like you woke up with the next day. At least from what I’ve been discovering about my journey with fibromyalgia, I feel like I can definitely relate to this. It’s not easy to live life like this from one day to the next, which is why I sometimes have to start saying no to doing certain things so that I can rest and recharge for all of the upcoming times that I will say yes (i.e.: walking Worf in the neighborhood, doing laundry, taking a shower, etc). If I say yes to doing too many things in a day, I set myself up for having to say no to doing other things later on. This is something that is a delicate balance and you really need to be honest with yourself. This is something that I struggle with feeling bad about regularly. Before my life with chronic pain and chronic fatigue, I was quite social and my calendar was always busy. At one point, I even worked three part-time jobs at once while I was going to college full-time. Now, I can’t imagine even trying to do that with how I have been feeling now.
Don’t be afraid to share how you feel with someone you trust. Unfortunately, one of the things that have been happening as a result of this pandemic is that we are unable to see our loved ones right now. I know that I’m not alone in feeling isolated often. I miss hanging out with my friends, seeing my parents, and visiting with my cousin and my godchildren. I’ve been making trying to get better about sending them text messages and just check-in. Unfortunately, this is something that can be taxing on me after a while, so I try my best to balance this as much as I can. On my flare days, even just talking with my fiance or his family about how I’m feeling is helpful. Even reaching out to the fibromyalgia community on social media helps me feel a little bit better. To take this one step further, if you need help, definitely do not feel bad or guilty about asking for help. We all have days that are more difficult than others. Maybe someone else will be the one to ask you for help the next time that you go grocery shopping and you might be in a position to return the favor that someone else did for you before. And in the worst-case scenario, if the person you asked for help said no, there was no harm done in asking for help in the first place.
I have found that distractions are key for me to cope with my chronic pain every day so that I’m not always thinking about how much I hurt. The distractions I use include sewing projects, watching lots of tv and movies, listening to podcasts, going for a walk, and gaming with friends.
Relaxation is important for me to remember to schedule into my day because it is something that does not come easy for me. I am one of those people who has a difficult time relaxing, especially when people like my doctors tell me that I need to. I use a couple of different tools to relax. Funnily enough, I find my yoga practice to be very relaxing. I look forward to spending 15–40 minutes practicing yoga (depending on how I’m feeling for the day) each day. Even on days that I feel stiff and I don’t want to move, at least getting in a gentle stretch feels good and helps provide some relief. The deep breathing exercises that are important to yoga also help me find some relief for my chronic pain. Now that the weather is getting colder with it almost being December, I’ve started going into the hot tub that is in the backyard in the late afternoon to help me warm up before eating diner in the evening.
Thank you so very much for taking the time to read my blog!! I hope that you enjoyed it. Please feel free to applaud this blog post (where the hands clap together) and comment down below. I’d love to hear from you. I hope that you will have a great week! Stay safe out there! Until next week, my friends! :-) ❤
— Moriah
Resources:
- PNG image with circle of hands
<a href=’https://pngtree.com/so/unity-is-strength’>unity is strength png from pngtree.com</a> - Adriene Mishler’s Instagram and YouTube links
https://www.instagram.com/adrienelouise/
- “Fibromyalgia pain: Options for coping” by Mayo Clinic https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/fibromyalgia/in-depth/fibromyalgia-pain/art-20047867
